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While I do and always have done the best I can for customers, over the years they appear to have gotten worse. Some are just beyond all hope of helping and some just seem to want a confrontation, I think they must be terminally bored or something.
I often find myself wanting to say stuff to customers, bluntly, in response to some of the tripe they talk, sadly I’d probably get arrested by the Political Correction Police but here’s some favourites to kick this thread off…
1. “I know about this stuff/what the problem is as I’m an engineer…”
Yes, that one.
Don’t you just love a smart a$$ that, as he or she has a passing interest in mechanics they are, all of a sudden, an expert in domestic appliances that even we don’t know it all about?
Because you played with Meccano as a child or, happen to work on a line screwing widget to whatever makes you as much an expert in our field as we are in yours. So shut up as I’m not telling you how to do your job, I’d like the same respect thanks.
Of course, you can’t say that can you?
2. “We never overload, treat the machine with the utmost care and do nothing wrong”
Yeah, pull the other one, normally the evidence and, often the state of your house says something completely opposite to that.
It has become something of a standing joke and, this is the response I’d love to give coined by David one day…
“Yes, what you should do is abuse the cr4p out the machine, overload it, stuff it full of detergent and run it constantly because the people that do that never seem to have a problem, just the ones that do everything correctly are always the people that seem to have an issue.”
3. “I’m going to report you to Watchdog, Trading Standards then I’m going to sue you in the small claims court…”
How many times have we heard that one? In any and many combinations, direct or veiled threats.
My standard response now is to give them the links or phone numbers and say nothing.
What I really want to tell them well, more indicate through howls of laughter, is to knock their socks off. That’s about how seriously most of these threats should be regarded.
4. “It just exploded/went on fire/broke itself”
Uh huh.
So, the gremlins ran in, smashed up your stuff, set it on fire or busted it then vanished without a trace?
You do realise that there are places you can go to get help with that sort of stuff don’t you? Sadly however it is beyond our purview and not our area of expertise.
Usually the run marks on the panel, the spaghetti jar embedded in the hob top and so on are usually a fair indication of what gremlins were actually at work.
Damn those gremlins for leaving this little thing we like to call *evidence* eh?
5. “It’s not fit for purpose!”
Look you muppet, things become not fit for purpose when they break, i.e. they don’t work any longer so, ipso facto, yeah it isn’t fit for purpose *NOW* as it has broken you moron.
The fact is was working just fine for the previous 1/2/3/4/5/6/7… years kinda tells you that it was fit for purpose and, was fit for purpose for a long time. It din’t wake up one morning and think to itself, “I’m going to now become not fit for purpose and I’m going to backdate that to when I was made”.
It is a pathetic argument and I really wish I could tell them so at times.
One worth knowing about though as when they start that nonsense they’re usually about to start down the path of the six year rule, they’re just setting the scene for a claim and if you play it incorrectly you can open yourself up to a claim. :rolls:
6. “The part you sold must be faulty as the problem hasn’t gone away”
Yes, and of course your diagnosis was absolutely spot on as you’re an expert, go to No 1.
K.
Re: Things You’d Love To Say
I’m sensing the stress Ken is suffering right now. 😉
I’m generalising here……..You can’t please all of your customers all of the time and the percentage of those “muppets” (as is so often put) should be in very small single figures. If that’s not the case and more and more are starting to complain then you’ve got problems and chances are they’ll get worse over time. Time to figure out then why that should be?
Re: Things You’d Love To Say
Thank you for the pearl of wisdom Martin, as ever so complimentary and supportive.
No, it’s in all areas and if you ask the guys you’ll find it’s not just me.
But you don’t have to deal with warranty punters and so on that think they’re owed the world so, you probably don’t have a clue what I’m talking about much of the time.
K.
Re: Things You’d Love To Say
7. I went on the Internet and it said that the problem is…………
So I’m here for what reason??Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
Re: Things You’d Love To Say
..”you came a few weeks ago, i only used it once and its doing the same thing as last time”
Ideal Reply
..” excuse me you muppet! i checked my records and it was 6 months ago when you told me at the time you use it 3 times a day and oh dear look, is that a bra wire rammed through the cheap crap bought in asdos plastic tank?
Actual Reply..” lets take a look madam see what we can do 😉
Re: Things You’d Love To Say
This is a topper.
On the MSE forum some guy posted this…
d000hg wrote:AO isn’t a no-name company. They are massive – didn’t they buy out one of the main highstreet retailers?
I was offered this too and am a bit dubious. A lifetime new-for-old guarantee is interesting, if it really means you will literally never have to buy another washer (in our case). We just bought a nice Samsung for £600 and at £1.50/week that’s 400 weeks or just about 8 years before we pay the same again. Which is probably about what we might hope it to last for… so on balance it’s slightly more expensive (obviously, it’s just insurance and they make a profit) but you remove your personal risk.
Given that we chose the Samsung specifically as it comes with a 5-year manufacturer’s warranty (and a 10 year warranty on the motor), unlike most which come with 2, it’s probably not worth it.
I’d advise others to exercise good financial sense and set aside the £2/week yourself as part of your budget.
I was a bit taken aback at two things, the attitude for a start but also the abject stupidity and utter lack of common sense.
My reply was…
kwatt wrote:Do you really think that on even a £600 washing machine that they make maybe £50-100 on at best that they will seriously offer you a lifetime of free washing machines or anything else for that matter?
Methinks you might be served well by carefully reading the T&Cs as I’d bet it isn’t what you think it is.
What I really wanted to say was…
There’s slews of these idiots out there.
What I think they’ve offered him is a DAG policy or something on the machine that will repair or replace but, even at that it’s been completely misunderstood.
K.
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