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Re: Two site members get married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wonder if anyone got a pic of the hickie Brian seems to be receiving ?
Re: New member
Many congrats all round … am on standby myself to hear when my bundle of “joy” will arrive … although by the size of my good lady she should have had it about a month ago !
Re: towels coming out rough
Is she using the right amount for the hardness of water in her area as well as the soil level ? Common mistake … Water hardness testing strips available from all good fishing tackle & tropical fish outlets … just a thought …
Re: Baumatic BT2750 main oven fault …
As I read your message I realised I had 2x very young children in the house at the weekend !!! Just the right height for twidling the clock adjuster !! Thank you sooooo much !!
Re: Another joke.
This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the HelpDesk employee was fired. He is however currently suing the Word Perfect organization for “Termination without Cause”.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
(now I know why they record these conversations!)“Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?”
“Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
“What sort of trouble?”
“Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
“Went away?”
“They disappeared.”
“Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
“Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”
“How do I tell?”
“Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?”
“What’s a sea-prompt?”
“Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?”“There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
“Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
“What’s a monitor? ”
It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.”
“Does it have a little light that tells you whenit’s on?” “I don’t know.”
“Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes into it. Can you see that?”“Yes, I think so.”
“Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
“Yes, it is.”
“When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
“No.”
“Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
“Okay, here it is.”
“Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
“I can’t reach.”
“Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”
“No.”
“Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”
“Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle – it’s because it’s dark.”
“Dark?”
“Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
“Well, turn on the office light then.”
“I can’t.”“No? Why not?”
“Because there’s a power failure.”
“A power … A power failure? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now.”
“Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
“Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
“Do you have the reciept?”
“Yes, I only got it 4 months ago”
“Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
“Really? Is it that bad?”
“Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
“Well, all right then, I suppose.
What do I tell them?”
“Tell them you’re too friggin’ stupid to own a computer & could you have your money back !”
Re: Vehicle safety signs?
When working for Chubb Fire we used these guys …
http://www.signsnw.co.uk/acatalog/Hazardous_Substances_Labels.html
Rob
Re: Another joke.
Yes .. All real … London Underground have a custom that on yuor last day you are allowed to make a comedic announcement … so they do !
Re: Another joke.
A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers…
1) “Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you’re all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you’ll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction.”
2) “Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I’ll let you know any further information as soon as I’m given any.”
3) “Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won’t reach our destination.”
4) “Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let’s take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now…. ‘Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall…..’.”
5) “We are now travelling through Baker Street… As you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don’t think about things like that”.
6) “Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me.”
7) During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: “Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman…. unfortunately, towels are not provided.”
8) “Let the passengers off the train FIRST!” (Pause .) “Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care – I’m going home….”
9) “Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with ‘Please hold the doors open.’ The two are distinct and separate instructions.”
10) “Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors.”
11) “We can’t move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door.”
12) “To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage – what part of ‘stand clear of the doors’ don’t you understand?”
13) “Please move all baggage away from the doors.” (Pause..) “Please move ALL belongings away from the doors.” (Pause…) “This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bl**dy golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your a**e sideways!”
14) “May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it’s only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage.”
Re: Brazil V Scotland
Bit short sighted of me perhaps … just realised I may have a bit of a hard time next time I do a presentation north of the border !! Up the Scots !!
Re: THE THINGS CUSTOMERS SAY ?
Having carried out a repair on a Hoover Dishwasher door seal I was informed that the owner didnt have any money to pay me … but I could have either two 1/8ths of a particularly compact noxious smoking substance or a little bag of stuff that looked just like talcum powder … I obviously turned down her lovely offer and reported to my H/O to let them chase the payment !!! Thats SE London for you !!
Re: New ISE Images
Much easier I agree !! .. but again be aware of the issues with copyright of the location and if you have any member of the public with a recognisable face then you will open up a whole can of worms re image release forms …
Re: New ISE Images
Go for it Martin … if time had allowed then their would have been more from me along those lines had a load more ideas … but it was not to be ! Be warned, I got turfed out of a shopping mall, … private property … they wanted £650 to cover licence & insurance and then I could have used it for half a day !! All the images you can see were taken just because we could … along the lines of class / top end product / quality / nature / water etc etc but with no specific tag or strap line in mind …
Re: Marks left on washing.
You may also like to try and eliminate the problem by carrying out a full service wash … If you are using a liquid all the time then you are using a detergent that contains no bleach … combine this with the fact that a high percentage of end users only wash at low (30/40 degrees) and you have a set of circumstances that lead to a higher than normal build up of bacteria as well as partially disolved detergent being present in the rear of the machine … this can lead to unwanted smells and odd looking marks if the a quantity of partially disolved detergent dislodges and comes into contact with the clothing ( dont forget it will contain dirt / bacteria too ) hence the mark …
Service wash as follows …
1) Select the hottest wash your machine will do
2) Place 2 or 3 items in the machine that you dont care about ( t towels / old t shirts etc)
3) Put 155ml or 2x tablets of a BIO detergent in the machine
4) Allow to run full cycle
The extra heat & the bleach will have a definitive effect on any smell as well as breaking up the undisolved detergent to the rear of the machine …Repeat on a regular basis if only using liquid detergent but ideally you should be using a Bio detergent on your whites and very light materials and a colour / non bio on your colours to preserve their colour long term as well as giving you the best overall results …
Rob
