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Re: Bra wires
And now as the new owner of “THE” bra wire I feel it only appropriate that I should now have an avatar 😆
Re: another joke.
An 18 year-old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the Chemist and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, “Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!” The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father and the mother, and the girl and tells
them: “Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can’t marry her because of my personal family situation but I’ll take charge.
I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.
If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?”At this point, the girls father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man’s shoulder and tells him,
“You s**g her again.”
Re: Bra wires
Goatboy wrote:OI!
The fire service are going to get it for the pathetic price of £25.
Do we have to pull together as a group and put in a ‘super-bid’?
Who’s up for a coalition? I’m in for £5 pounds. That may rise if it has to.
You can collect the money at the next UKW meeting.
Waryerekon? 😕
Yep, looks like the firies are determined. A coalition seems like a good idea and I think Goatboy is just the chap to administer it as it was HIS idea. 😉Re: another joke.
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He orders a drink and while he’s drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?” The guy says, “No, what?” “He just ate the cue ball off my pool table – whole!” says the bartender.
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replies the patron. “He eats everything in sight, the little jerk. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.” He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.
Two weeks later he’s in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?” “Now what?” asks the patron. “Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!” says the barkeeper. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replies the patron.
“He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that cue ball he measures everything first!”
Re: Bra wires
NAH!! still need my fence. They`ll have to do better than £25.38.
I might make it into a necklace. 😆
Re: another joke.
A women lying in bed hears her husband coming home from the pub. He closes the front door and then….
THUD!…..BANG!……CRASH!……..BANG!……THUD!!
She shouts ” What the hell are you doing!”HIM> “trying to get half a barrel of beer up the stairs”
HER> “Can`t you leave it `til the morning?”
HIM> “That would be tricky….. It`s in my stomach!” 😆
Re: another joke.
Some classic George W. Bush quotes!
“The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.”
– George W. Bush“If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.”
– George W. Bush“One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that
one word is ‘to be prepared’.”
– Governor George W. Bush“I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in
the future.”
– Governor George W. Bush“The future will be better tomorrow.”
– Governor George W. Bush“We’re going to have the best educated American people in the world.”
– Governor George W. Bush“I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made.”
– Governor George W. Bush“We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a
firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.”
– Governor George W. Bush“Public speaking is very easy.”
– Governor George W. Bush“A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the
polls.”
– Governor George W. Bush“We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.”
– Governor George W. Bush“For NASA, space is still a high priority.”
– Governor George W. Bush“Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our
children.”
– Governor George W. Bush“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities
in our air and water that are doing it.”
– Governor George W. Bush“It’s time for the human race to enter the solar system.”
– Governor George W. Bush
🙄Re: spares from UKW
Thanks for the replies folks.
All fair points guys especially the point that if they didn`t buy from UKW they would buy from some other e-site as a lot of peoples mentality is that “it must be cheaper coz I bought it on the internet”
Also if the money goes into UKW then I suppose we all benefit.
However if it`s going to take 12 pages to sell a spare……. you must have the patience of a saint!!!
Re: another joke.
Nearly forgot about todays………………
This guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some discussion he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink.
So he asked the centipede in the box, “Would you like to go to Frank’s place with me and have a beer?” But there was no answer from his new pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, “How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?” But again there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.
He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede’s house and shouting, “Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank’s place and have a drink with me?”
A little voice came out of the box: “I heard you the first time! I’m putting my friggin’ shoes on!”
