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Always make you a STEAMING hot cup of coffee just as you are refitting the back panel of an appliance
any more ?DAF, you must have nicer customers than me 😀
I only get a glass of water if I ask for one after suck syphoning their blocked waste hose. 😉
Dave.
Why is always the houses where the cockroaches are wearing hard hats and boiler suits that you get offered a coffee and something eat.
“No thanks, I have a flask in the van and I’ve just had some” is a stock reply. 😉
K.
Why in the deepest, winter days are we out repairing stuff in a filthy garage, with the door wide open cos there is just a measly, cobwebb covered 40 watt bulb up amongst the rafters, and the wind wistling through freezing your …off, and in summer we are sweating next to the burning hot Aga in some farmhouse kitchen?
And why do all possible overfill jobs occur in houses with the lowest pathetic water pressure which means everytime you need to check the level it takes like 20 mins to fill the damn thing.
and why do they start cleaning the worktop while you have your head in the back panel, covering you with dust?
and what about any job you can do from the front needs the damn machine pulling out just to access the plug?
and why do customers feed there damn pets right infront of the washing machine?
and why do they say “dont worry about the dog” when WE KNOW as soon as their back is turned they become ferocous, man eating wolves? And do they think we like having our faces licked while we are on the floor changing their pump?
and why do they start cooking in their oven when they know we are about to turn up and change the door hinges?
and why do they not even manage to get the make right when booking a call yet alone the model number?
and… is it so difficult to scoop the water out of a dead dishwasher rather than letting become a stinking solid mass of matter by the time we arrive?
must they always plunge their hands into the top of the machine to see if that really is concrete? Thus giving you a heart attack for fear of them touching something live, which no doubt they would sue us for.
I could go on….
Mark (had a bad day)kwatt wrote:Oh yeah and the manky house is almost always on the top goddamn floor as well. 😕
Is that the one where you wipe you’re feet on the way OUT ?
Dave.
We could write a book.
Why do they say? “That machine hasn’t been out since it was put in there.” Obvious statement or what.
Why do they insist on carrying out a 100{e5d1b7155a01ef1f3b9c9968eaba33524ee81600d00d4be2b4d93ac2e58cec2d} cleaning operation behind the machine just as you are either trying to go round the back looking for a leak? or even worse, just as you have finished ready to put the thing back and want to go on to the next job.
Why do they spend 15 mins telling you in full detail when it is an obvious fault that is looking at you? yet when it sticks or a silly little noise they cannot describe anything.
Why do they describe a noise as, “Like a Whirling Dervish, or going to explode, or say it was indescribable”. Does anyone know what a whirling dervish sounds like? they aren’t indigenous in this area.
Why do they report a fridge/freezer not cold enough? then switch it off & leave the door open for you. No wonder it aint cold enough Missus, someone has switched it off and left the door open.
Why do they fail to put a name on their house? and then tell you when you get there, “Oh nobody can find us, or even worse, I thought the girl on the phone must have known where we are as she didn’t ask”. Another one is a house name in the middle of a road where all the houses are numbered. The customer lives, say between houses 32 & 36 but decides to call it something like “Rivendale”. When challenged, “Oh no we don’t have a number”. So you’re not No. 34 then? They cannot grasp the fact it is easier to look for a number among many other houses that are numbered.
Why do the retired Husbands try and take over the whole running of the house including taking charge when the appliance breaks down? then when asked questions relating to the fault say’s, “Oh I’ll just get the wife, this is her department”
Why do they decide they have to get their car out that you’ve parked in front of just as you are in the middle of a tricky bit?
Why don’t they just put the money in a bag and post it to us, and leave us alone?
Have a good weekend.
Alex
On the lighter side:
Daughter walks in to the kitchen, about seven years old. I m laid on my back on the floor,mending the dishwasher.
The mother, an absolute stunner, is stood at the sink washing up .
Mother says to daughter go and get dressed properly. I look up slighlty and daughter is wearing a jumper and nothing else.
Daughter replies” Im only dressed like you mummy”
I suppose the job has some perks!!!!!!
I had one today “the dog is just playful “Next thing i’m Headbutted by a bloody greyhound !
Strange thing is on the way out it tried to eat my toolbox in one goLawrence
Ah bugger me – I left my salami in your box again. Lucky the damn dog didnt eat your lunch box and run off up the street at 90mph
This dog thread (as it has become) reminds me of something that happened about 15 years ago while working in a customers house. The dog got hold of my tube of Debor from my toolbox (this was the days before silicon when we swore by the stuff-never seem to use it now) bit through it and ran up and down the garden, nose down to try and clean it off his/her mouth but only succeeded in picking up all the leaves, grass cuttings, insects, bushes, nettles, flowers, vegetables, rotten fruit anything from the garden in fact that stuck to the glue on his mouth. Dog returns inside house with half the garden on his mouth and nose and owner wonders in shock what the hell has happened to dog. Plans to rush him to vet etc. I just stayed very quiet.
Whilst you get some toppers out on the road there’s a few crackpots on the phone as well.
The most entertaining one we ever had was from an old lady who’s parrot had flown into the ice box of her fridge. Of course the dim old bat didn’t spot it and closed the door didn’t she! 😕
Frozen parrot anyone? 😆 Oh how we laughed!
Anyway, how often have you heard these:
“We’ll be in all day” (only to get a no-access!) 👿
“No-one is ever in the house” Hmmm, so how do we get in then? 🙄
“Call me back” If we can ever get you in!
“It went on fire!” Do customer’s actually KNOW what fire is? Translation – a module popped! 🙄
“I know I wasn’t in, but I didn’t expect you to call when I nipped out for a loaf/bread/shoes (delete as applicable)” Well, we did say we’d be there, normally that means we will be and the engineer’s crystal ball is faulty so we don’t know what the hell you’re up to!!
“It’s jumping about” Translation – it vibrates. ❗
“I can’t sit in waiting for an engineer to arrive” Well just how do you propose that we gain access then?
“Do you know where XXX town is?” No, we don’t carry maps and haven’t a clue where we’re going! 😕
“Yeah I need it fixed before my mum comes back from holiday” I love that one 😈
“I was only out 5 minutes” says the cust, calling back over an hour after the engineer carded her/him! 😕
“Oh you’ll just have to bring me a new machine” Do I really have to explain this again! 🙄
Then there’s the long detailed sagas you get, I switch off now for most of it.
K.
New tube of Debor , Carpet , Engineers Knee = absolute mess.
Patio Door (closed) ,Engineer in a rush ,Heavy Toolbox =New patio Door
Long shafted screwdriver ,Yapping terrier ,cust. back turned ,flick of wrist= dog with headache that no longer wants to know you.
Yapping terrier, megga= 😈
Condoms in filters =embarrassed customers
and many more . Rodent tales are particularily good but i’ll save them for another day.
Flipper wrote: Rodent tales are particularily good but i’ll save them for another day.
Yes it’s surprising how the seem to love the live terminal side of washing machine timers isn’t it, it must be warm snuggled between the timer and the cabinet…….
….not as warm as when the machine gets switched on though 😈
Dave.
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