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Re: S’now joke
looks like more jokes on the way ,,,
been haevy snow here since 5am this morn …
sorry guys
Re: Another joke.
luckily for you jim my joke book is still open ….
heres one for yi …
man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says
a pint for me – and one for the road …
lolRe: Another joke.
dont know what you mean ? its always been bucket ??
ah the joys of editing …
more snow today … looks like were in for more jokes
yeeheeeeeeee…
or if anybody wants to come down our street with a plough i will hold of with my great jokes …
lol ally
Re: Another joke.
man goes into patent office with some new designs,
he says to clerk id like to register my new invention its a folding bottle
ok says clerk what do you call it – man says a fottle
clerk says thats a stupid name can you think of anything else .i,l think about it – but i have something else – its a folding carton
“and what do you call that ask the clerk – ” a farton”
thats rude you cant possibily call it that..
in that case says the man – your really going to hate the name of my next invention ..
” my folding BUCKET”
Re: Another joke.
yes im stuck in house ,, got my old joke book out
WHEN I WAS 14
i hoped one day i would have a girlfriendWHEN I WAS 16
i got a girlfriend but there was no passion , so i decided i needed a more passionate girl with a zest for lifeAT UNIVERSITY
i dated a passionate girl – but she was to emotional, she was a drama queen- cried all the time and theatened suicide. so i decided i need a girl with stabilityWHEN I WAS 25
i found a very stable girl – but she was boring, she was totaly predictable and never got excited about anything – life became so dull that i decided i need a girl with some excitement .WHEN I WAS 30
i found an exciting girl – but i couldnt keep up with her , she rushed from one thing to another never settling on anything , she was great fun initially
and very energetic , but had no direction – so i decided to find a girl with some real ambition..WHEN I WAS 35
i found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and i married her – sadlly she was to ambitious and she divorced me and took everything..IM OLDER AND WISER NOW
and im looking for a girl with big t***ts
Re: Another joke.
a male patient is lying in hospital bed after a 4 hour op , oxygen mask over his face and still heavily sedated – a young student nurse apears to give him a partial spong bath ..
man mumbles from behind the mask ” are my testicles black”
embarrassed the young nurse replys ” i dont know sir im only here to wash your upper body and feet”
he struggles to ask again ” nurse are my testicles black”
concerned that she may elevate his vitlas from worry she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers she raises his gown – holds his p–is in one hane and fondles his test—-icles in the other give them a good feels and visual inspection ..
sir there is nothing wrong with them…
the man pulls of his oxygen mask – smiles at her and very slowly says
thanks you very much for that it was wonderfull – but listen very closeleyare – my – test – results- back ??
Re: S’now joke
the guy next door to me is the weatherman http://www.buxtonweather.co.uk/
nice of him to warn us all ? … i have seen 1 gritter in 3 days dont know if its cutbacks or what …
maybe the council think we using our ufo,s here in bonnybridge ..
just cleared drive way for about 5th time now .. i felt a great sense of purpose with my fellow snow moving neighbours the first couple of times ..
now we just mutter over the mountain of snow we have created between the drives .. still better than listing to the wife about the schools being off and that we are down to our last 30 loafs ..
lol ally
Re: Smack In The Chops
oh yeh nice one … hope you didnt scratch the top of the appliance – dont think you can get lid for that model now …. lol
reminds me of the time i stupidly tried to force the spring on an lg door seal . i had long nose pliers pointing up at my face and yes they slipped pliers shot up and whacked me on top lip – went right through and smashed my front teeeth … was a tad sore…
ally
Re: S’now joke
on a more sombre note , good friend of mines passed away last week .. funeral is today – we have had 15cm of snow fall past 48 hours ,
dont know how this is going today its a burial ..
ally
Re: Another joke.
Looking for a job ..wtch out here’s what the pharses really mean
COMPETITIVE SALARY!
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitorsJOIN OUR FAST PACED TEAM
We have no time to train youCASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE
We don’t pay you enough to expect nice clothesDUTIES WIL VARY
Anyone in the office can boss you aroundMUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL!
We have no quality controlSEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE
You need it to replace the 3people that just leftPROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS A MUST
Your walking into company in perpetual chaosREQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS
You will have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respectRe: AEG DISHWASHER MODEL 80860 PNC 911371032/00
hello martin did you email stuff , as i havent received ??
cheers
