Forum Replies Created
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Posts
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Re: Indesit WD12 drainage/noise problem
The pump will sound very nasty if your running it empty!
Put a little bit of water into the machine and try it.
A pump running empty will make crunching noises.
Re: B&Q Appliance Guide
B&Q wrote: We offer a connection service on selected freestanding appliances for just £15.00.
The delivery team will be unable to connect your new appliance if:
* The old machine is not disconnected.
* Any electrical/plumbing supplies needed fail the delivery team’s testing or are considered unsuitable.
* Any water supply needed cannot be isolated or is unsuitable.
* Any drainage/waste facilities needed are unsuitable.
* Mechanical adjustments are required to the appliance(s) to overcome such things as water pressure problems.
* Alterations to existing plumbing and electrical are required.We offer a disposal service on selected products for just £12.99.
So add £28 to all their prices, and If I refused to connect appliances under those conditions, I’d wouldn’t mind selling them at those prices too.
People realise they need to used an indepenent to get a good level of service. Customers have long memorie, and once burned, they remember forever.
Of course, the ISE will revolutionise everything 🙂
Re: bosch washer trade prices
Welcome aboard John! 😀
What is your obsession with Bosch? Your always asking about them?
IMHE, DAD prices are a little too high, on Bosch, if you want to compete with the sheds, and actually make some money.
It seems that Bosch give better prices to Independent showrooms, than they do to all-salers. This is because they don’t want to de-value their product.
If Bosch really wanted to stop de-valueation (is that a word?) of their products, they would take Sony’s lead on internet shed prices.
But lately, Bosch are getting cheaper and cheaper, and we all know what happens to the quality then.
We’re using Siemens as the way forward now 😀
“These Bosch? Well their a little cheap and nasty, have a look at this Siemens.”
kwatt wrote:And, if anyone has a viable alternative on how to fund costs just to maintain the site which now runs into thousands of pounds per annum, excluding our labour, I’d love to hear that as well.
There’s nothing wrong with takong big company’s money, for little adverts!
UKW isn’t a charity! We all gotta feed the monkey somehow! (or goat)
Re: Robbing Barstewards
It costs us more to bank cash than cheques. That’s Barclays again. 🙁
Apparantly, it’s to try and stamp on the black economy?
I have to laugh now, when a customer asks for a disscount because they are using cash.
Re: Here’s a tip for you
I don’t get tips 🙁 I must look like too much of a scally!
What I do get, is every single biddy running her hand through my hair and saying…
“Isn’t it lovely hair? I bet all the girls love it!”
“Errrr, just the girls over 65 actually!”
:eeek:
Re: Another joke.
More silly emails arriving…
———————————————-
Disorder in the Courts
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one.
________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh…
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy on him!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
law.Re: Another joke.
Somebody just sent me this! I don’t know if it’s a joke, or some kinda guidance to becoming Goatman.
——————————————————-
What makes a Man?
1. OPENING JARS – nnng, she’s struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn’t. Jars are men’s work.
*2*. CALLING SOMEONE ‘SON’ – Especially policeman, but even saying it to kids makes you the man.
*3.* DOING A PROPER TACKLE – Another free kick for Scott West? A Barry Hall tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic.
*4*. SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE – Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don’t need a sharpener, you think I can’t whittle?
*5*. GOING TO THE TIP – A manly act which combines driving and lifting as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish.
*6*. DRINKING UP – Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, “Let’s go,” and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. God, you’re hard.
*7.* HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD – in the shed, solely to stir paint with.
*8.* HAVING A SCAR – Ideally it’ll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. “Ooh, did it hurt??” “Nahhhh.”
*9*. HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE – When birds have been partying they just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence Of your hardness, sprouting from your face. “Big night?” “Grrrrr, what does It look like?”
*10*. NODDING AT COPPERS – A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. “We’ve not seen eye to eye in the past,” it says, “but someone’s got to keep the little scrotes in line”.
*11*. USING POWER TOOLS – especially ones slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.
*12*. KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR – Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! “How about that Stewy? I kick so hard I set off car alarms.”
*13*. ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE… and everyone cheers you. It doesn’t mean you’re popular, it just means your mates are p*ssed. However, the rest of the pub doesn’t know that.
*14*. NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT – fat is a feminist issue, apparently. Brilliant. Pass the pork crackling.
*15*. CARVING THE ROAST – and saying “are you a leg or breast man” to the blokes and “do you want stuffing” to the women. Congratulations, you are now your dad.
*16*. WINKING – turns women to putty. Doesn’t it?
*17.* TEST SWINGING HAMMERS – ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item.
*18*. TAKING OUT £250 FROM AN ATM – okay, so it’s for paying the plasterer later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.
*19.* PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE – unlike birds, we get straight to the point. “Alright? Yep. Drink? Royal Oak it is then. Seven. See ya.”
*20*. PARALLEL PARKING – bosh, straight in. First time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his car’s got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the world’s best driver.
*21*. HAVING EARNED THAT PINT – Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it’s over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.
*22.* HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU – especially if you didn’t make a fuss. “Why was I off? Oh nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage”.
*23*. KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH – “A Phillips? For that? Are you mad, woman?”
——————————————-
Hmmmmmmmmmm. Personally, I’m not there just yet 😕Re: Miele D/W
Thank you very musssssshhhaaa!
I’ve just sorted it with Miele 😉
No trade disscount with them 🙄
Re: Dyson DC04 throwing belt
It also worth checking the brushroll housing (bright green thing). Any worn patches on that will cause the machine to snap belts constantly.
Belts jumping off?!?!?! See if there’s any rust on the motor shaft, and stop bumping it over rugs/mats.
There’s also a thin metal rod, that holds the belt in place. This should be part of the brushroll/belt cover that you remove to get access to the belt. Is that rod still there?
Power off before investigating please.
Re: Hover Junior 1334 Problem
Martin wrote:Good Lord!..This takes me back to the mid 60’s…when I was young and handsome 8)
😆
I’ve gotta admit to not being 100{e5d1b7155a01ef1f3b9c9968eaba33524ee81600d00d4be2b4d93ac2e58cec2d} sure about it 😕 But one thing I am sure about, is that Martin doesn’t get things wrong 8)
However if you still have a problem, report back and I’ll investigate on Monday morning, when I’m back at Goatboy HQ.
Being in the time-warped town of Nelson, I’ve got loads of Juniors laying around 😀
PS. and of course, unplug the machine before attemping any repair.
