Forum Replies Created
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Re: Christmas cake?
My Mrs said tonight, that she might of been using newspaper instead of grease-proof paper?
How scrouge is that?
Note to all tv adverts:It’s not Christmas yet!!!!
Re: Whats the most annoying thing customers do?
It feels good to get it off your chest, right? 😉
I’m on the vedge of banning all servis/indesit/ariston customers 😕
Re: another joke.
I’ve been looking for this, ever since I deleted it from my inbox about a year ago. Luckily my gf gets all the joke emails about a year after me, then forwards them to me.
You’ve prbably seen it before, but I think it’s great! 😀
———————————————-
A new sign in a Bank Lobby reads:
“Please note that this Bank is
installing new Drive-through cash machines enabling customers to
withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using
this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
accessing their accounts.After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been
developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.”—————————————————————–
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
—————————————————————–
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside of back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into
the slot provided.23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake!
Re: another joke.
Iwas a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me … it was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day “little” sister called and asked me to go over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.”
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test…..we couldn’t ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to our family!!!”
And the moral of this story is : Always keep your condoms in your car.
Re: Zanussi DW925 door hinges
I’m sure Dave (the parts master) will offer a link, when he’s got 5 minutes. 😀
Re: Looks Like…
It is me, or is the site over half way to six million page views ATM?
Half a million hits in about 5 weeks? 😯
Re: Corgi Cr*p
neptune wrote:Do other engineers find themselves using the same stock phrases in response to the same situations everyday at customers houses?
‘Do you need a torch?’
‘I’ve got one, thanks!’ Everyday!
One I seem to here less and less often now is…
‘Would you like a cup of tea?’ 😕
Re: Zanussi DW925 door hinges
Goatboy wrote:There springs are available for other models of Zanussi. But for yours, it’s the whole assembly. If someone sells you the wrong size springs, you’ll have real problems. The door might not shut and could leak. 🙁
I don’t think it’s worth the risk for a £20 saving.
As for dissmantling the dishwasher, I can advise you only so far, for safety reasons.
This is a very tough job! If you can’t get to the springs with the advise I’ve given you, you should call an engineer.
You could try this link…
Unplug the machne before you attempt any repair.
http://www.washwise.forumsplace.com/message50.html 😉
Ps. I like the avatar! 🙂
Re: Service wanted!
That’s terrible!
I just tryed searching for ‘washing machine repairs’ and they said…
‘C@sinos?’ 😕
But then they asked for my name, address and email.
Who’s stupid enough to do that?
Not me! I said ‘ :wave: ‘
Re: Candy CIC60 Tumble Dryer – DRUM WONT MOVE – SOLID
One of the more senior member will have to correct me if I’m wrong…
I think if you use the repair@ service, it will give you contact information for engineers in your area. Then you can contact them and ask about their charges.
Re: Candy CIC60 Tumble Dryer – DRUM WONT MOVE – SOLID
RDM wrote:Would it be possible for a piece of clothing to have got into the drum and caused the jam?
Hmmmmm, not really 😕 But anything is possible.
I really sounds like you need some professional help. Have you tryed Repairs@ to see if there’s anybody in your area?
Re: another joke.
During a recent holiday in Ireland, Tiger Woods drove his BMW into a petrol station and was greeted like any other stranger by the attendant.
Tiger bent over to pick up the nozzle and two tees fell out of his shirt pocket.“What in the name of the wee man are those?” asked the puzzled Irishman.
“They’re called tees,” replied Tiger. “They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving.”
“Jaysus!” roared the attendant. “BMW think of everything”
Re: Candy CIC60 Tumble Dryer – DRUM WONT MOVE – SOLID
Vertical movement on the back of the drum.
Where the shaft goes through the bearing, in should rotate in the bearing, but not move up and down or sideways.
This can be done without removing any panels.
Just open the door and see if the drum is loose (towards the back).
