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Re: Another joke.
21 Economic Models Explained
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.A ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone think you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive***JUST ADDED******
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.Re: F&P Smart Drive 058 Won’t initiate & no fault co
Yersssss……. If it works, replace the switch assembly pronto – it’s a safety device.
Penguin45.
Re: DWF30 not cleaning!!
It’s a Peterborough-built Bosch. The standard “poor wash” fault is caused by underfilling. If you’re going to do this yourself, remove door outer panel, kick panel and the lower cover plate. The ribbed hose in the bottom left hand corner needs to be pulled out and cleaned, as it has probably filled up with sludge. If that doesn’t sort it, the sludge may have backed up into the fill chamber under the left hand side panel. Again, it will need to be removed, stripped and throroughly cleaned.
Power off first; let us know how you get on.
Penguin45.
Re: Bosch SGS6302GB/07 update to starts and dies
Couple of things to consider.
1/ Heater faults throw the computer, especially earth leaks.
2/ Sludging issues cause the machine to under-fill, which can cause the heater not to work correctly, which will throw the computer.
3/ The computer boards do just fail, simple fact.Time to get the covers off and get the test meter out. Stay safe, power off first.
Penguin45.
Re: Bosch WFF1201 with sticking door
Two things to consider with these machines.
1/ If the machine contains water at the end of the cycle, the door lock will not disengage, even if you switch off the power switch. Pulling the plug should allow the lock to dis-engage after about two minutes. Start by checking the filter for the pump for crud build-up. There is a breather box at the top of the machine which the drain pump runs through – these can crud-up, especially in hard water areas. Finally, the air-bell for the water level system can fill up with goo and give false readings. It’s located at the 6 o’clock position on the back of the drum.
2/ Door locks get old and just don’t want to either lock or unlock. Replacement unit is HERE if you decide that that is the problem.
Stay safe – power off if you remove any panel.
Penguin45.
Re: help indesit idl 500 dishwasher 2nd and 4th lights flas
Element should read approx 25-30 ohms when spilt from the circuit. There is no re-set facility on this appliance.
Element is HERE if required. This is the “in cavity” one and is generally reliable. If it proves to be OK, it will be the pcb at fault and you will need to think seriously about whether you want to replace it. Achilles heel and all that.
Stay safe, power off when working on the machine.
Penguin45.
Re: BOSCH SGS5302GB07 MOTOR NOISE
I suppose there must come a point where you have to say “Enough”. If you are absolutely sure that the pipework and chambers are clear, logically, the machine should fill with an appropriate amount of water to allow full circulation. If you are not getting full circulation, accompanied with the noise, there must be a problem with the circulation pump.
This is where it gets complicated….. Access to the motor involves removing the stainless cavity from the machine. Screw in each lower corner, screws in the sump, door panel off – they all have to go. As a professional repairer, the strip/build is likely to take the best part of two hours, plus what is needed to actually repair the machine.
I appreciate that you’ve had a run of bad luck, but from here on it gets very complicated. Forum Rules dictate that we can’t walk you through it absolutely step by step, so time for some help might be the best way forward if you wish to keep the applaince running. If you are an “old codger”, you do have the one thing that we repairers don’t have on your side – time. Time is money as a professional……. It’s really pretty straightforward if the job is approached logically, although diagrams, pics and patience (lots) are required.
Not really much more I can tell you as things curently stand, so I’ll wish you luck.
Penguin45.
Re: Hoover Nextra6 HNWL 7146 (no action, just buzzing!)
Buzzing and no fill = no water inlet.
Penguin45.
Re: simpson enviro 130 washer
There has to be a certain irony there….. Shipped from Europe to Oz and brought back to England and no way of knowing what parts are involved. Gorenje are alive and well still – perhaps contacting them for advice might get a few answers?
Penguin45.
Re: BOSCH SGS5302GB07 MOTOR NOISE
The “trail went cold” because you signally failed to follow the advice you were given. The comment that you didn’t know where the salt cap was rather finished our efforts to assist you.
If you wish to have one last go, drain the machine, pull the plug, then remove the water matrix. It unclips at the top left corner, then lifts away. Put a towel down, there will be water……… With that disconnected, you can then lift the pressure switch chamber up and off, taking the red flood protection rod with you. This gives you enough room to pull out the transfer hose as well. Clean everything thoroughly with hot water, re-assemble and check the level when it fills. The salt cap is on the floor of the cavity, next to the filters. Water level should be half way up after the fill sequence.
If the circulation motor still sounds strange after this, you will have to remove it and find out what’s going on inside. Access involves removing the entire stainless cavity off the machine and I’d rather not go there yet.
Penguin45.
